"it" just moved
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
