he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
