my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Watching her eat just hurts me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
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