He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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