He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
