The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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