so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Randomize
