is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
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I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
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She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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