just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
