this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
