yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
