Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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