We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize