Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(626): View more from California

What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"

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(917): View more from New York City

i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.

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(585): View more from New York

So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?

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(225): View more from Louisiana

Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...

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(314): View more from Missouri

Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.

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(212): View more from New York

I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire

(213): View more from California

A hand job? Are you 12?

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