He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
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I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
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He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
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