It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
