So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
