Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Randomize