Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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