If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I skipped work to stalk him.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
