i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
