Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
How does it feel to date your dad?
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