i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
