Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
