Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Randomize
