Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
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