Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
