As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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