my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Randomize
