so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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