when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
