Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Randomize
