Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk