I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
# Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
29 Super Simple DIY Drinking Games
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day