Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.