my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
sex in a hospital.. check
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I just had sex on a roof
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
