Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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