i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
