She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
me + whiskey = a bad person
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize
