halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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