i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
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