I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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