i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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