Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
