Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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