..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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