Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
