when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
