saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
