NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize