I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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