You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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