We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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