Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
