hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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