LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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