I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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