Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
