arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize